Turquoise

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

my favorite color

My own aha! moment

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

Since I started putting pressure on myself to become a professional photographer, I've shut down creatively. I haven't even picked up my camera in days. I've gotten so stuck on my lack of technical skill and knowledge and profit, that I've just stopped taking pictures. I've stopped wanting to take pictures because what's the point? My photography is amateur and flawed and I don't have money to invest in better lenses and and and.......
I realize now what's going on here. Somewhere along the way, I decided that I'm not good enough, nobody looks at my work anyway, and I'm losing money on this, so why bother.
This isn't good. Not good at all.
I love photography. I'm an artist at heart. When it comes from my heart, it's good. When I do it for the pure joy of it, it's good. When I stop putting pressure on myself to make money, it comes to me. It finds me.
My sister said something to me a few weeks ago when I was really struggling with my future. She said "You are a photographer, Tracie. It doesn't matter if you decide to become a nurse or a teacher or whatever, you will always be a photographer. It will always come bubbling up to the surface because it's who you are. You can have both."
Oh!
I never thought of it that way. I've always seen Success or Failure.
The thing about photography is that anybody can take a good picture. Anybody can buy a D-SLR and the best lenses and other equipment available. Anybody can learn everything there is to know about white balance and aperture and shutter speed and make great pictures and make money doing it.
It's about so much more than those things to me. It always has been and that's really why I was never in any hurry to learn the technical stuff. I'm an artist. I don't have to color in the lines. I can make money with other parts of my brain.
This is for me. If it touches other people, that's nice, too.

Lost Puppy (updated)

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

I'm happy to announce that Snoopy found her way home! I'm hoping she also found her way into a bathtub. She was stinky. (and sweet.)

A boy and his dog

A boy and his dog, originally uploaded by benzismama.

This is from last year. I just went back and tweaked it a bit in Picnik.

Pick-me-ups!

Yesterday was one of those days filled with one disappointment after another until I opened the mailbox and saw these babies! They took their sweet time getting here, but they turned out so great. They make me happy!
Just think how happy they would make someone with a heartfelt note from you written inside! (or from me, I'm keeping some!)

Each 4x5 card is printed on thick 100-lb card stock and blank on the inside.
Envelopes are included. All prices include shipping and packaging.

Love Rocks- pack of 10 ($16) `sold

Baby Love - pack of 5 ($8)

Variety
includes floral, animals, love rocks, baby love & more
pack of 10 ($16) ' sold

Floral - 2 packs of 10 or 1 pack of 7 available ($16 or $12) 'sold

Darlene, Suzy, & Winston

This was so much fun!! You wouldn't believe how fast these little puppies move! They are always in motion and quick. Isn't Darlene beautiful?

Day 15

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

Ranger loves the snow and ice. I could do without!

Day 13

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

Much needed rain....

Day 10 (yesterday)

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

Healthy food, by no means. Happy food, definitely.

Day 4: Gluten Free Peanut Butter Cookies

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

This recipe is all over the gluten free community. Must be good, right? Not so much! Mine tasted a whole lot like peanut butter sand.
So why am I adding them to my Goodness 2009 project? Because Ben and I had so much fun making them. He was a huge helper and doesn't seem to mind eating them.

Day 2

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

More pics of my beautiful new bible on my Flickr site. Thanks, Mom!

Project: Goodness in 2009.

So there's this very popular photography project that has been floating around the web for some time now call 365. It's a commitment to take and post a photo a day for a year. To me, that's a really big bite to chew.
I'm taking on something a little less involved in an attempt to get my creative motor running. My photography has taken a back seat to my real life for many months now, so it's time to get this show on the road.
The idea is to post a picture a day of things that bring goodness to my life right now. New pictures only. I'm also throwing in the rule that pics of my children are fine, but I must also post another nonchild pic on those days. I could follow my kids around with my camera all day, but that's not really stretching my creative legs, now is it?
40 days seems like a reasonable goal. We'll see how it goes.

Day One



Behold, the green smoothie! So much tastier than it looks and one of the most nutritious things you can put in your body. Read more about green smoothies at Green Smoothie Girl or Happy Foody.
Sara, at Happy Foody got me drinking these last year and Ben and I just fell in love with them. We got out of the habit in recent months, but I'm back to making one for us every day. Good stuff!

Happy Love Thursday

Love Thursday is a weekly tribute to love via the lenses of the Shutter Sisters.

two is for twins

two, originally uploaded by benzismama.

Only my second maternity shoot ever! N was super easy to work with and we're both pleased with how the pics turned out. Feel free to check out the rest of the photos at my Flickr site.

for all the world to see

Hello, there! This is my first public photography blog. Feel free to pass the link along, add it to your site, or just leave me some love.