Photography by Tracie

wish right now

2010-07-14T03:42:00.001-07:00

airplanes, originally uploaded by benzismama.

1985

2010-07-12T03:39:00.000-07:00

You know you're getting old when a picture from your childhood makes you weepy and giddy at the same time. When you think things like, "I wish my kids knew what that kind of freedom feels like" and "those were the good old days when life was simple". Of course, life wasn't simple for me and my family in 1985, but visiting my cousins on the ranch and being turned loose to swim in cattle troughs buck "nekkid" and ride 4-wheelers and pick berries and eat them straight off the vine....that made everything okay. We weren't afraid of anything...except maybe Uncle Mike.

Soul food & such...

2010-07-04T10:22:00.000-07:00

The glory of gardening: hands in the dirt, head in the sun, heart with nature. To nurture a garden is to feed not just the body, but the soul. ~ Alfred Austin

Jenn's 35th Birthday

2010-06-06T09:25:00.001-07:00

jday2, originally uploaded by benzismama.

The garden grows wild...

2010-06-05T06:59:00.001-07:00

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

Ben

2010-05-22T08:04:00.001-07:00

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

Happy Birthday,Kaden!

2010-05-19T04:44:00.001-07:00

my baby boys, originally uploaded by jenndowning.

He's the one with hair. =D

Today I'm wishing Kaden the very best birthday. He deserves it more than anyone I know. He's an amazing kid. Very smart, compassionate, thoughtful, funny, sweet as can be. I love this guy!

2010-05-16T07:07:00.001-07:00

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

My hope is that we continue to nurture the places that we love, but that we also look outside our immediate worlds.
Annie Leibovitz

62

2010-05-15T18:46:00.001-07:00

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

Happy Anniversary, Mama Nita & Daddy Jack.

Bipolar

2010-05-14T12:07:00.001-07:00

Blue October - House of Blues - Dallas, Texas - April 30, 2010, originally uploaded by benzismama.

It's a little blurry sometimes.

2010-05-14T04:34:00.001-07:00

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

Dad's 35mm Canon

2010-03-22T18:34:00.001-07:00

Dad's 35mm Canon, originally uploaded by benzismama.

blue skies

2010-03-04T04:36:00.001-08:00

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

new art

2010-02-15T18:08:00.000-08:00

processing

2009-11-15T06:15:00.001-08:00

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

We're getting stronger every day..even on Halloween.

2009-11-01T15:08:00.000-08:00

Halloween Preview

2009-10-25T07:05:00.001-07:00

IHRA National Champions

2009-09-17T06:25:00.001-07:00

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

Blue October

2009-08-18T06:39:00.001-07:00

blueoctober10, originally uploaded by benzismama.

House of Blues in Dallas, TX

Tucker

2009-07-14T05:48:00.001-07:00

Life is good.

2009-07-11T06:34:00.001-07:00

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

Time to dust off the cobwebs. Awaken creativity. Learn to say no. Learn to say yes. Breathe. Stretch. Grow.

Photos by Who?

2009-06-14T06:36:00.001-07:00

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

I have not forgotten about this blog. Or my camera. My poor camera. It must think I've abandoned it for good. I haven't picked up my Rebel in weeks. Or has it been months already?
I'm busy. Much busier than I like to be, in fact. It's a good busy, though. New job. New routine...or lack thereof. Some things have been pushed to the back burner. Things I love and things I don't love...like housekeeping and cooking, for instance...I am well aware of the areas I have been neglecting and can honestly, whole-heartedly say I am trying. I am doing the best I can. I can't do it all. I can't make everybody happy or even attempt to. I just don't have time right now. So, to my sweet little Rebel, and the other areas of my life that are being neglected, bear with me. I have not forgotten you and greatly appreciate your patience and understanding.

Dorsey Trapp

2009-05-23T05:27:00.001-07:00

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

Grampy is gone to the other side now. He passed last night. I don't have words, yet.

float

2009-04-29T05:18:00.001-07:00

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

A dream come true...

2009-04-27T05:10:00.001-07:00

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

I wasn't born with sisters. I'm not sure I would have appreciated them so much if I had been. My brother, Brad, brought Jennifer into my life when I was 12 years old. Vanessa is the wife of my husband's brother, Jeff, and lives in New Jersey. They are my sisters now.
They had never met until this weekend. They started cooking up this plan for my 30th birthday weeks ago. Thirty is big to each of us. Jenn jumped out of an airplane. Vanessa had a party in NYC complete with a tiara. All I wanted was to go to the symphony. (and a tattoo!)
Long story short, I knew I was going to the symphony in Dallas with Jenn because Vanessa gave me tickets for my birthday. What I didn't know, was that she also purchased a ticket for herself. She was waiting for us in the lobby of Hotel ZaZa reading Breaking Dawn. The rest is history.
I took lots of pictures with my Rebel and they are all on my Flickr site. Vanessa has the majority of the pictures on her camera. (ELPHs are easier to lug around) I can't wait to see them.
How I will ever repay these two girls, I will never know. I am still kind of absorbing the enormity of their combined generosity. It is overwhelming.

grateful

2009-04-24T05:48:00.001-07:00

grateful, originally uploaded by benzismama.

for the love I've been given. for being forgiven. for always having food to eat and a place to lay my head. for every single little gift.

2009-04-23T04:40:00.000-07:00

I read this somewhere today:

“When you look closely people are so strange & so complicated that they're actually beautiful.”

I like it. I haven't met too many people who aren't beautiful in their own way. And who isn't strange & complicated?

my sister

2009-04-13T08:37:00.001-07:00

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

Better days ahead.....

my daughter

2009-03-28T06:28:00.001-07:00

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

every little thing

2009-03-26T05:31:00.001-07:00

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

is gonna be alright.......

Turquoise

2009-03-25T04:05:00.001-07:00

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

my favorite color

feeling sketchy

2009-03-24T14:24:00.001-07:00

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

My dad, the artist.

2009-03-24T06:05:00.001-07:00

My little brother, Cody
My grandmother

I haven't been taking pictures. I don't know what's wrong with me. I have been drawing some. My dad uploaded a bunch of his work on his myspace page (the fact that he has a myspace page cracks me up!). I wish I had an ounce of his natural talent. I think he's brilliant. These are a few of my favorites.

Authenticity

2009-03-14T06:26:00.000-07:00

What a compliment to have Brene Brown comment on my blog and listening to my playlist! This woman is amazing and if you don't know who she is, check her out over at BreneBrown.com. It is always incredibly inspiring to see strong, intelligent women helping other women reach their full potential. This is what Brene does. She teaches, inspires, and lives & loves with her WholeHeart.

I had half a mind to write about Authenticity and my turning 30 next month and how those two things are taking up more than their fair share of space in my brain at the moment, but you know, it's all just a little too personal for a public forum. I think I'd rather not give it all away. Read Brene's site. It's really good.

My own aha! moment

2009-03-08T09:45:00.001-07:00

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

Since I started putting pressure on myself to become a professional photographer, I've shut down creatively. I haven't even picked up my camera in days. I've gotten so stuck on my lack of technical skill and knowledge and profit, that I've just stopped taking pictures. I've stopped wanting to take pictures because what's the point? My photography is amateur and flawed and I don't have money to invest in better lenses and and and.......
I realize now what's going on here. Somewhere along the way, I decided that I'm not good enough, nobody looks at my work anyway, and I'm losing money on this, so why bother.
This isn't good. Not good at all.
I love photography. I'm an artist at heart. When it comes from my heart, it's good. When I do it for the pure joy of it, it's good. When I stop putting pressure on myself to make money, it comes to me. It finds me.
My sister said something to me a few weeks ago when I was really struggling with my future. She said "You are a photographer, Tracie. It doesn't matter if you decide to become a nurse or a teacher or whatever, you will always be a photographer. It will always come bubbling up to the surface because it's who you are. You can have both."
Oh!
I never thought of it that way. I've always seen Success or Failure.
The thing about photography is that anybody can take a good picture. Anybody can buy a D-SLR and the best lenses and other equipment available. Anybody can learn everything there is to know about white balance and aperture and shutter speed and make great pictures and make money doing it.
It's about so much more than those things to me. It always has been and that's really why I was never in any hurry to learn the technical stuff. I'm an artist. I don't have to color in the lines. I can make money with other parts of my brain.
This is for me. If it touches other people, that's nice, too.

hope

2009-03-03T05:11:00.001-08:00

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

I'm running low on inspiration these days. The sun is coming, though. Spring will soon be here.

Lost Puppy (updated)

2009-02-26T06:45:00.001-08:00

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

I'm happy to announce that Snoopy found her way home! I'm hoping she also found her way into a bathtub. She was stinky. (and sweet.)

A boy and his dog

2009-02-25T13:08:00.001-08:00

A boy and his dog, originally uploaded by benzismama.

This is from last year. I just went back and tweaked it a bit in Picnik.

2009-02-25T05:55:00.001-08:00

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

time's up

2009-02-22T08:23:00.001-08:00

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

Sometimes doing the right thing is easy. Sometimes it's really really hard.

What I learned in photography class....

2009-02-18T07:49:00.001-08:00

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

Thanks to my dear sister, Jenn, I've had the pleasure of taking my first photography class. Now, I've been taking pictures consistently for about 4 years now with no training, so this was a lot of filling in the blanks for me. What I learned from the class, above all else, is that I have so much to learn. Relying on my eye and kit lens will get me exactly where I've gotten, stuck on Go.
Today, the road has split and I have to make a choice. This minute, I have no idea which way to go and pray for guidance and wisdom.

2009-02-15T11:00:00.001-08:00

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

Happy Valentine's Day!

2009-02-14T06:12:00.001-08:00

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

Happy Birthday, Ben!

2009-02-13T04:54:00.001-08:00

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

My baby boy is 4 today. He is such a good kid and keeps us cracking up. He's the funniest.

This year in Ben's life was full of huge changes. He dealt with each one like a champ. He is still in love with Spiderman and his daddy. He loves pb&j, green smoothies, hard boiled eggs, and "BcDonald's". (he refuses to accept that it's McDonald's) (that's Ben) He learned to write his name this year, and ride his bike with training wheels. He prefers to ride his scooter up and down the hall. He does not like the merry-go-round or swinging too high. He is the quintessential little brother to his tween drama queen sister. They adore each other and fight a lot. He loves play-doh, pajamas, and Wal-mart. This year, he will go to Pre-K and I will cease to be a SAHM. (stay at home mom) He's ready. I'm having a little harder time letting go of his babyhood. It went by so fast.

Pick-me-ups!

2009-02-10T04:40:00.001-08:00

Yesterday was one of those days filled with one disappointment after another until I opened the mailbox and saw these babies! They took their sweet time getting here, but they turned out so great. They make me happy!
Just think how happy they would make someone with a heartfelt note from you written inside! (or from me, I'm keeping some!)

Each 4x5 card is printed on thick 100-lb card stock and blank on the inside.
Envelopes are included. All prices include shipping and packaging.

Love Rocks- pack of 10 ($16) `sold

Baby Love - pack of 5 ($8)

Variety
includes floral, animals, love rocks, baby love & more
pack of 10 ($16) ' sold

Floral - 2 packs of 10 or 1 pack of 7 available ($16 or $12) 'sold

Life happens.

2009-02-09T12:58:00.001-08:00

barbara4, originally uploaded by benzismama.

She was the best part of the last three days, I think. She isn't very comfortable having her picture taken, but let me take a few. I think she's beautiful.

Yeah...

2009-02-08T14:26:00.001-08:00

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

My thoughts exactly.

Day something or other....

2009-02-06T15:23:00.001-08:00

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

Not holding up to my 40 days of Goodness project very well, huh? Life's been busy and there are too many days I don't even pick up my camera. Other days, like today, I take lots of pictures.

Where I am from...

2009-02-05T06:40:00.000-08:00

I am from the trampoline, the U-Haul, and a country music song.

I am from the park.

I am from red dirt and mesquite trees.

I am from shoot from the hip and sarcasm, from Mom Morris and Mommer and Mama Nita.

I am from the honky tonk and Sunday school.

From the gypsies and gars in the water.

I am from Amazing Grace and wooden pews. From the One who is, and was, and is to come.

I'm from Archer,Young, and Wichita, Memaw's chocolate pie and fried potatoes.

From the twister in the rear view mirror, beer and football Sundays, deer stands and trot lines.

I am from the polaroids in the stacks of albums in my mother's closet.

Day 17

2009-02-03T13:10:00.001-08:00

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

Day 16

2009-02-01T19:17:00.001-08:00

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

Missed a few days on the Goodness 2009 project. Oh well. Life goes on.

Darlene, Suzy, & Winston

2009-02-01T05:22:00.000-08:00

This was so much fun!! You wouldn't believe how fast these little puppies move! They are always in motion and quick. Isn't Darlene beautiful?

Day 15

2009-01-29T05:08:00.001-08:00

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

Ranger loves the snow and ice. I could do without!

Day 14

2009-01-27T07:30:00.001-08:00

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

Library goodness.

Day 13

2009-01-27T05:33:00.001-08:00

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

Much needed rain....

Day 12

2009-01-25T17:55:00.001-08:00

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

Day 11

2009-01-24T06:02:00.001-08:00

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

Too busy to do much with my camera yesterday.

Day 10 (yesterday)

2009-01-23T06:45:00.001-08:00

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

Healthy food, by no means. Happy food, definitely.

Day 9 ~ Love Thursday (on Wednesday)

2009-01-21T11:21:00.001-08:00

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

I like this picture because sometimes love is hidden in the briars.

ETA: It's WEDNESDAY. It's been Thursday all day long in my head. Oh well. Tomorrow I'll just have to conjure up more love.

Day 8

2009-01-20T16:19:00.001-08:00

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

Day 7

2009-01-19T12:15:00.001-08:00

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

There isn't much a cup of hot tea doesn't cure.

Day 6

2009-01-18T16:53:00.001-08:00

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

Day 5

2009-01-18T04:28:00.001-08:00

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

It only took me 5 days to break my own rules. It was one of those days. I only picked up my camera once and this is what I got.

Day 4: Gluten Free Peanut Butter Cookies

2009-01-16T14:49:00.001-08:00

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

This recipe is all over the gluten free community. Must be good, right? Not so much! Mine tasted a whole lot like peanut butter sand.
So why am I adding them to my Goodness 2009 project? Because Ben and I had so much fun making them. He was a huge helper and doesn't seem to mind eating them.

Day 3

2009-01-15T13:39:00.001-08:00

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

Ranger

Day 2

2009-01-14T07:27:00.001-08:00

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

More pics of my beautiful new bible on my Flickr site. Thanks, Mom!

Project: Goodness in 2009.

2009-01-13T07:19:00.000-08:00

So there's this very popular photography project that has been floating around the web for some time now call 365. It's a commitment to take and post a photo a day for a year. To me, that's a really big bite to chew.
I'm taking on something a little less involved in an attempt to get my creative motor running. My photography has taken a back seat to my real life for many months now, so it's time to get this show on the road.
The idea is to post a picture a day of things that bring goodness to my life right now. New pictures only. I'm also throwing in the rule that pics of my children are fine, but I must also post another nonchild pic on those days. I could follow my kids around with my camera all day, but that's not really stretching my creative legs, now is it?
40 days seems like a reasonable goal. We'll see how it goes.

Day One

Behold, the green smoothie! So much tastier than it looks and one of the most nutritious things you can put in your body. Read more about green smoothies at Green Smoothie Girl or Happy Foody.
Sara, at Happy Foody got me drinking these last year and Ben and I just fell in love with them. We got out of the habit in recent months, but I'm back to making one for us every day. Good stuff!

2009-01-10T10:00:00.001-08:00

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

It's been a while.

2009-01-04T11:38:00.001-08:00

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

Time to get back into the swing of things............=).

Did ya miss me?

2008-10-28T04:40:00.001-07:00

IMG_2414, originally uploaded by benzismama.

Well, I'm still having some technical difficulties getting all my gear up and running. Just peeking in to say Hi.

Jennifer

2008-10-10T04:38:00.001-07:00

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

"wipe the slate clean, kick the daydream, and remain independently happy"

2008-10-08T11:39:00.001-07:00

sunset, originally uploaded by benzismama.

2008-10-05T04:37:00.001-07:00

benmay23fave, originally uploaded by benzismama.

This is one of my favorite photos. He ends up in more of my pics than any one or any thing because we are still very attached. We're always together. That, and he's just so darn cute.

Happy Love Thursday!

2008-10-02T07:36:00.001-07:00

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

my mom and daughter

Kala

2008-10-01T04:42:00.000-07:00

joy

2008-09-29T13:05:00.001-07:00

clarkandchocolate, originally uploaded by benzismama.

One of the things I love most about photography is how I get to freeze a moment in time and keep it forever. This picture of a man and his dog going about the business of living brings me great joy. It's not even a technically good photo. It's just the look on their faces. They are happy and alive.

This too shall pass.

2008-09-26T11:09:00.001-07:00

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

Happy Love Thursday!

2008-09-25T07:21:00.001-07:00

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

Katy's family

2008-09-23T04:23:00.000-07:00

Experience is the best teacher, right? This shoot was one of those times I wished I had some actual technical instruction under my belt. Katy's family were all wonderful and very cooperative. The light was a different story altogether. We had natural light coming in from opposite sides of the room, but not quite enough. The overhead light was necessary, but cast heavy shadows. Tricky, tricky. I hope they find some shots they like.

bugs

2008-09-21T06:48:00.000-07:00

Flare Friday

2008-09-19T04:38:00.001-07:00

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

Happy Love Thursday

2008-09-18T04:11:00.001-07:00

Love Thursday is a weekly tribute to love via the lenses of the Shutter Sisters.

some of my favorite peeps

2008-09-17T05:08:00.001-07:00

, originally uploaded by benzismama.

only an animal

2008-09-17T04:02:00.000-07:00

two is for twins

2008-09-16T08:25:00.001-07:00

two, originally uploaded by benzismama.

Only my second maternity shoot ever! N was super easy to work with and we're both pleased with how the pics turned out. Feel free to check out the rest of the photos at my Flickr site.

for all the world to see

2008-09-16T07:38:00.000-07:00

Hello, there! This is my first public photography blog. Feel free to pass the link along, add it to your site, or just leave me some love.